Financial Savant Gifts

'It's your debt to society.'

'What happens if I die young?'

"The procedure was a complete success. We removed all of your money."

'You have just been put on hold indefintely until you get a decent paying job.'

"Your stocks are down, Ms. Blum. But the good news is my fee is not based on performance, so I'll still be here to advise you."

"On the other hand, with your investment losses you'll be in a lower tax bracket at tax time!"

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

"Subtracting net cash brings the P/E down to 47, and, finally, crossing out the 4 brings it down to a very reasonable P/E of 7."

'Tech stocks performed better today after the market was defragged.'

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

"Today stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a temporary state of mind."