Spending Savant Gifts

"No matter how bad things are, we manage to keep our sense of spending."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Whoever stole your credit card is spending a lot less with it than you did!'

Piggy Bank ATM

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

'It's your debt to society.'

Wealth AcquisitionWealth ManagementSince You Can't Take it with you, Spend it.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"Fiscal conservatism be damned. I'm a fiscal hedonist."

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"

"The procedure was a complete success. We removed all of your money."

"Just groceries? Oh I see..."

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

"We were leasing land to a guy running a truffle farm in france. He skipped out, but we were able to recover some of his assets."

'Of course I care for you. You're the most expensive woman in my life.'

'I think it's time to stop shopping when the computer asks you if you need another shopping cart.'

'What happens if I die young?'

Pushy Cashpoint

Spiralling inflation

Scrooge and his piggy bank

'We need to decide where to put what's left of your money. I suggest something short-term - like your memory.'

Easter Bunny HQ. We'll need to add more staff this year --- They also want us to hide their nest eggs.

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

"Once I started doing tech-support for family and friends, i had to get a bigger piggy bank."

'If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping...'

'I've spoken to my accountant. . . Looks like you need an operation.'