Stock Market Gossip Gifts

'Rumors...'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

The United States' economy deflating.

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

Weditorials

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

'Botox...'

My husband doesn´t understand you.

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

Geezernomics - Crash of 1929.

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'