Stock Market Gossip Pillows

'Rumors...'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

The United States' economy deflating.

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Botox...'

My husband doesn´t understand you.

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

Geezernomics - Crash of 1929.

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

Weditorials

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'