Stock Market Storyteller Gifts

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Looks like some of your high fliers are backed up on the runway.'

'Charles? Heavens no! Charles was so long ago, I finished with him when Enron was still a must-buy.'

'So the stock market hit 12,000 and everyone lived happily ever after.'

'Enough about the three bears. Tell me about the Bulls and the Bears, so I can E-trade on wall street.'

'Courage, my boy - stocks don't cry when they fall!'

"Well, that's not a good market indicator."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

Jumping Wall Street.

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.