Stock Storyteller Gifts

News on television: 'On Wall Street, stocks rebounded on news that 'up' and 'down' are just states of mind.'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'...it's a spirited, yet lightly delicate little stock that shows signs of aging into exquisite maturity...'

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

'That was one of my all-time great rumors.'

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Edgar Allen Poe

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

A Fairytale Update

Blue Stockings

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'