Corporate Gossip Gifts

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

'I'm a fat cat in a dog-eat-dog world.'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

Weditorials

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'Voodoo economics was bad enough, but this voodoo foreign policy....'

My husband doesn´t understand you.

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'Botox...'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

'Take a letter,'

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'