Stock Market Fanatic Gifts

"It's not the gambling debts, he's just checked how much his shares are worth now."

'Today, the dollar gained against the euro, pound, yen, yuan, the Picasso, Degas, and the Warhol.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"#Win!"

Will work for ETFs

Annual profits,

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'