Stock Market Lover Gifts

"Remember, Syms, never use the term 'Plummet.' We prefer 'in correction territory' or 'below cost basis'."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Jumping Wall Street.

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

Symbols of Wall St: bull, bear, Humpty Dumpty.

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.