Stocks Enthusiast Gifts

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"Medical science hasn't come up with a pill specifically for 'stock market jitters."

Economic parameters.

I want flash trading...yesterday!

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

Wall Street Couch

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.