Stock Trading Aficionado Gifts

"Harold is back. He couldn't stand my 'selling low' in our stock portfolio!"

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

A child runs an equity stand.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

TPP - Investor State Dispute Settlement

'Greenspan said today the alert staus for the possible interest rate has been reduced from orange to yellow.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

Jumping Wall Street.

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'