Trading Aficionado Gifts

"Up a hundred and sixteen points! If only we'd had the foresight to invest ten minutes ago."

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

"So you lost a year's worth of gains in a single day...that's still 12 months of pleasure for one day of pain."

'Speak up, dammit

Need Money To Resume Online Trading.

"He's sensitive enough to cry, but only about the stock market."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What's a debenture?"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

Wall Street Couch

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Stock market investment advice

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

TPP - Investor State Dispute Settlement

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

The burden of carrying the Euro.

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'