Stock Market Fanatic Pillows

"It's not the gambling debts, he's just checked how much his shares are worth now."

'Today, the dollar gained against the euro, pound, yen, yuan, the Picasso, Degas, and the Warhol.'

The day the stock market went UP.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"#Win!"

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

World Economic Crisis.

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'