Steakhouse Stalwart Gifts

"Veal or non-veal?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"And how would you like your steak?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

Cow Gag Gifts

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'The Big Beg Theory'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

"Heh, Trump likes his steaks well done with ketchup. Jesus."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

"Just how rare is this steak..."

Prime Meats.

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."