Steak Aficionados Gifts

'Not mad cow disease again! I'm cancelling tonight's steak dinner.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"And how would you like your steak?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

"Veal or non-veal?"

Cow Gag Gifts

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

"Nothing says 'Fourth of July' like beer, hot dogs, and antacids."

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'The Big Beg Theory'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"