Steak Savants Gifts

"Filet Mignon, medium irradiated."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"And how would you like your steak?"

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

French suppers.

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Cow Gag Gifts

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'The Big Beg Theory'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

'Joeys rarely hae geoducks.'