Steak Lovers Gifts

"If you two are through with your braised sirloin tips, I'll just go ahead and clear the table."

A man unhappy that his steak has been partially eaten by someone else

"Why go out to eat tonight if we can just cook that nice steak in the corner?"

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"I can recommend the steak if you've got your own teeth."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"And how would you like your steak?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

"Veal or non-veal?"

Cow Gag Gifts

'The Big Beg Theory'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."

'My client, Skippy, is suing for a twenty-ounce sirloin, medium-rare.'