Steakhouse Aficionado Gifts

The Grazy Bunch!

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"And how would you like your steak?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Cow Gag Gifts

"Veal or non-veal?"

"One medium rare and one with honey."

'The Big Beg Theory'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

"Just how rare is this steak..."

Prime Meats.

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."