Statistics Jester Gifts

Clown throws a pie

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Why markets crash.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'Wait a minute....!

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Our crime figures are down!'

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

'Can you check my balance.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'Give it to me straight, Doc - just how long-term should my long-term investments be?'

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

Why stocks go up forever.

Man ironing out a line graph.

"if you miss a payment, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."