Statistics Humorist Gifts

"The bar charts show out clients overwhelmingly prefer pie charts."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

The Solar System (after deregulation)

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Will work for ETFs

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

Money Bar.

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

How Glaciations Begin

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"