Statistical Wizard Gifts

Cooking The Books.

'But the GOOD news is that we managed to keep him alive long enough so he won't effect this months mortality targets at all!'

Educational Correlations Not Suitable For Publication.

"Personal request here. Do not begin your forecast with the words 'I'm just guessing, but...'."

"This has been quite a season for Zobrowsky—a hundred an twenty-nine receptions, sixteen touchdowns, a B-plus in English, a B in philosophy, an A in political science, and a B-minus in French!"

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"We only got six days of funding."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Lovely dovetail."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Waiting for retirement.

Targets.

Newton's Cradle Solar System

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Where did you learn alchemy? Elementary school.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

'I can't wait for Power Point.'

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

'First the good news.'

"And for my next trick, an evidence-based strategy!"

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

Dad's Workbench

'OK, OK, I get it!! We'll drop bar charts and start using pie charts!'