Stats Wizard Gifts

Remember, Art, statistics, credits and debits are in the eye of the manipulator.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

'J.B., there's not enough ROI on the IPO, YTD.'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

'My mother sent down some chicken soup to see if that will help.'

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

"Wow! Good news - the line is getting shorter!"

'OK, OK, I get it!! We'll drop bar charts and start using pie charts!'

Finance Sector: Art of Rain Making.

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

"AI tsumoney"

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'We've always needed an accounting magician.'