Startup Storytellers Gifts

"Even though we're a tech company, we can only provide these walkie-talkies. That's the downside of being a startup."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

6 Brothers Falafel

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'The stuka brought you.'

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Wall of Office Memories

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"A homeless person ate my homework."

'Wow, my own desk!'