Management Storytellers Gifts

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

6 Brothers Falafel

A Hole in the Dike

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

Wall of Office Memories

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

"This is the deluxe edition Annual Report Director's Cut with restored graphs and alternative endings."

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."

'Guess how much I sold today?'

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

"Did you hear the good news? We're engaged to become work spouses."

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

"These are my windscreen credits."

"It was an amazing half hour."

'Why do I always have to be the one to connect the dots for you people?'

"Social distancing... masks, it's difficult sometimes to know who you're talking to."