Strategy Storyteller Gifts

'Why do I always have to be the one to connect the dots for you people?'

'Do you know what I think?. . . I think you're bluffing.'

When business got slow in Hollywood, script consultant Herb Purvis made a surprisingly easy transition to the manufacturing sector of the economy.

'How fast can you hype?'

6 Brothers Falafel

A Hole in the Dike

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

Wall of Office Memories

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

"This is the deluxe edition Annual Report Director's Cut with restored graphs and alternative endings."

'Guess how much I sold today?'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"It was an amazing half hour."