Storyteller Strategist Gifts

Before mom sees this mess, here are some excuse talking points so we're all on the same page.

A Hole in the Dike

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

Internet Cafe.

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Wall of Office Memories

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'Why do I always have to be the one to connect the dots for you people?'

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

Videographer. Zoom in. Zoom out.

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

Rabbit and turtle.

Woman in booksotre looking at books labeled 'Highly Graphic Novels.' Covers of books show various charts, graphs, spreadsheets.

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"