Storyline Strategist Gifts

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

God's editor prepares for a tough convo

'Due to scheduling conflicts, the Today show will be seen tomorrow....'

A Hole in the Dike

"I AM at my usual position."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Internet Cafe.

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

'Why do I always have to be the one to connect the dots for you people?'

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

Videographer. Zoom in. Zoom out.

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

'Mom's in the bedroom trying on scenarios.'

Woman in booksotre looking at books labeled 'Highly Graphic Novels.' Covers of books show various charts, graphs, spreadsheets.

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness