Story Time Strategist Gifts

"Because it'll put you to sleep. That's why I'm reading you the third quarter report."

A Hole in the Dike

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'A is for Arse.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

"I got my emotional baggage down to a little carry-on."

"Gosh, this reminds me of one of my favorite John Lennon lyrics: "Life is what happens to you while you're making other quarterly sales plans."

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

'Why do I always have to be the one to connect the dots for you people?'

"I know I'm huffing and puffing, but I don't have a temperature. You're safe. Now, let me in."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

Woman in booksotre looking at books labeled 'Highly Graphic Novels.' Covers of books show various charts, graphs, spreadsheets.

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

I wrote a poem about our failure to capture and secure the highway. It's called "The Road Not taken."

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

'But then after chopping down the beanstalk, Jack's legal nightmare began...'

“The jury has requested you pitch your case in the style of a six-part TV mini-series.”

The little engine that coulda woulda shoulda