Business Storyteller Gifts

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Wall of Office Memories

'Remember, Robin, our sales competitors are the rich and we are the poor.'

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

'Anybody here not in favor of obscene profits?'

'How fast can you hype?'

6 Brothers Falafel

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'