Startup Storyteller Gifts

6 Brothers Falafel

This company is smaller than I thought - they've listed me as a majority shareholder.

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'The stuka brought you.'

"This is off our first TikTok."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

'Wow, my own desk!'

Wall of Office Memories

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."