Startup Storyteller Gifts

6 Brothers Falafel

This company is smaller than I thought - they've listed me as a majority shareholder.

Robot Parts $5

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'The stuka brought you.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"This is off our first TikTok."

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"A homeless person ate my homework."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

'Wow, my own desk!'

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"