Workplace Storyteller Gifts

'Well, Johnston. Your twenty five year probationary period with this company is up. And I'm afraid you're just not what we're looking for.'

"Letting someone go is never easy, Peters."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"We're becoming a new dynamic company, Miss Peeble, and frankly you just haven't got the wow factor."

'Hello, parent company? -- the guy at the next desk keeps LOOKING at me!'

"I'm handing in my notice."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

6 Brothers Falafel

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Direct Marketing...

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

A boy with a camera

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

Of course, we have to begin with certain assumptions. Let's assume I'm right and you're wrong.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Stop Ironic Graffiti

"A homeless person ate my homework."

Wall of Office Memories

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

'What do you expect from a child being raised in a paperless society?'

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'