Office Storyteller Gifts

A Man's Thoughts

"This is Daddy, honey. That was Daddy's office voice."

"I'm afraid I'm going to be late home for dinner again Mavis...about three days"

"Did you hear the good news? We're engaged to become work spouses."

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

Forty years in the City and never once was I headhunted.

"Social distancing... masks, it's difficult sometimes to know who you're talking to."

"That's our founder. He was a visionary, a driving force, a born leader and an all round son of a b***h."

'We seem to have finished our business early so I may as well spend the rest of the meeting telling you about my holiday and the extension we're building.'

'Goodbye 'Kiss and Tell'. Hello 'Discuss and lose interest.''

'It just got ugly. Ed from I.T. drank the entire water cooler and he wasn't even thirsty!'

"I was married to my job for years, and now, all of a sudden, I'm paying ALIMONY to it!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Edgar Allen Poe

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."