Starting A New Teaching Job Gifts

"Can you help me, Mrs. Green? This wasn't covered in any of my education courses!"

Drama class

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

Teacher with work box: 'You could do better work.'

There's always one.

Teacher writes on chalk board: 'No Passing: Notes, Gas, Out'

'The best advice I can give a new teacher is when a colleague asks for teaching advice, refer them to the principal. They will never ask you for advice again.'

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Carefree luggage.

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Reach for the Star.

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Pipe Dream.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Handbag store - "Perfect."