First Teaching Job Gifts

Smirking or Non-smirking

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

The Ideal Teacher.

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

Staff Yearbook

A Puppet Named Juan

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'What a drive! Our boy's going to go a long, long way.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Pajama Day 743

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'Kiddie school is teaching about sharing; and someone shared their cold with Jennie,'

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

The Paper Route

Responsibility and duties

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'