Beginning A Teaching Career Gifts

"You know how it goes: Those who can, do, those who can't, teach..."

Multiplication. This "multiplication table" thing, has it been peer reviewed?

'Your first day of student teaching?'

A Puppet Named Juan

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

'What's play?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'Kiddie school is teaching about sharing; and someone shared their cold with Jennie,'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Staff Yearbook

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"Memorizing the multiplication table is NOT brainwashing!"

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

"The STEM program has many advantages: you can invent stuff, you can use great equipment...but let's talk about the great cafeteria food."

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

Smirking or Non-smirking

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

First addition, then subtraction, then multiplication, and now this! Where is it all going to end?"

"I think I'm making progress. One of them asked a follow-up question today."