Becoming A Teacher Gifts

'Your x-ray shows an enlarged heart. It's nothing to worry about. All teachers have a big heart.'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"Hey, you guys, don't you remember? The big word here is 'compromise.' "

'New career low - gave out a page of Ulysses to my freshmen and they thought it was a wordsearch.'

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Teacher.

"That's the problem today. Everyone expects the same old standardized answers."

Once upon a time vs. today

'Truth is, kids, I ate your homework.'

"Memorizing the multiplication table is NOT brainwashing!"

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

"I may have to go back into the office - we're running low on stationery."

A Puppet Named Juan

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

'What's play?'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

'Kiddie school is teaching about sharing; and someone shared their cold with Jennie,'

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

Math Teacher

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"The school year is officially over, and the teachers won."

"Mum, Mum, the teacher has included some especially tricky choreography just for me in the school musical..."