Starting A New Teaching Position Gifts

Teacher.

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'I know last week's class was brutal, but I have all new material today.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Welcome to the Team

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Timmy has a great future in nano-technology.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Staff Yearbook

"We thought this was more realistic."

'Kiddie school is teaching about sharing; and someone shared their cold with Jennie,'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

The little engine that delegated

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"A laser blaster turns pesky little boys into ferns! Now that would be a cool school supply."

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

"I got the promotion. Instead of Wednesdays, I'm now the one who gets blamed when things go wrong on Tuesdays."

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'