Star Sign Guessers Gifts

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'I'm a Pisces.'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'Today's horoscope...Uranus is shining brightly and you'll have a chance encounter with a Leo...Huh!...what a load of mumbo jumbo'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

Pisces

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

"Bad news - you're going to be neutered."

Gemini/people

Mercury rising.

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "

'Did he leave an actual horoscope that I could read?'

'I'll need to run a few tests and find out what your horoscope says.'

'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'

'Far out! How did you pick me as a leo?'