Star Sign Guessers Prints

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'I'm a Pisces.'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

'Today's horoscope...Uranus is shining brightly and you'll have a chance encounter with a Leo...Huh!...what a load of mumbo jumbo'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

Mercury rising.

Gemini/people

'Did he leave an actual horoscope that I could read?'

Pisces

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

"Bad news - you're going to be neutered."

"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "

'I'll need to run a few tests and find out what your horoscope says.'

'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'