Star Sign Selector Gifts

'I'd like to see you again, but our signs aren't compatible. I'm a Gemini and you're an idiot.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

Mercury rising.

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

Pisces

Gemini/people

'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'

'I'll need to run a few tests and find out what your horoscope says.'

'Far out! How did you pick me as a leo?'

'The princes from the fairy tales may prefer virgins but hey, Geminis are pretty nice, too'

Cat Horoscopes: 'You will spend the day curled up on the comfy chair. In the evening expect a treat from your owner for being so good.'