Stand-up Junkie Gifts

Zombie standup

The Rooster Comedian.

Stand-up Romcom

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"Am I sensing fear?"

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

Nick Offerman

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Optometrist Humor

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...