Satire Junkie Gifts

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

It's the perfect advertising image of marital bliss. All we need is the disclaimer 'PROFESSIONAL ACTORS - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.'

"Sorry, Mr. Popeye, no Olympics for you. Y'know spinach is a performance enhancing drug."

'You're not from round ear, are you?'

CONGRESS, 'I don't know about other problems, but it always helps to throw money at my WIFE.'

'Do try and look intelligent-here comes my first husband...'

Igor's body parts supply.

"my last live stream surgery scored 3.5 stars."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Support the Ex-Troops

Director/Action Man toy.

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Torturing the English Language

Pretty Flowers

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

The height of fashion in 1796

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

reincarnated worm...

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

What's normal?

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"