Comedy Junkie Gifts

Every Hour in the Untited States, People Eat Three Acres of Pizza.

'I fail to note the significance of rising sea levels here on the 39th floor.'

"Remember me, Mister 'too much bacon is never enough?'"

"I can have them cook that for you, but, if I do, it won't be speedy fast."

We've been saying his name wrong

Man at a railway station with a giant cigar case and a carpet bag.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"I can't go job hunting. I don't have a permit."

Fish with chainsaw under skating rink

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Dancing with the Star Wars

"Spoiler alert."

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

True Story Movie

America's funniest investment scams

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'He's in training for the Olympics'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

Wall mountable TVs.

"'60 Minutes' is on."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'