Comedy Junkie Gifts

'All the 'Jaws' movies made millions...but guess who didn't get a cent in royalties?'

Every Hour in the Untited States, People Eat Three Acres of Pizza.

With the evening all to herself, Kate put on her 'UPS Drivers Gone Wild' video.

'I fail to note the significance of rising sea levels here on the 39th floor.'

"Remember me, Mister 'too much bacon is never enough?'"

"I can have them cook that for you, but, if I do, it won't be speedy fast."

We've been saying his name wrong

Man at a railway station with a giant cigar case and a carpet bag.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"I can't go job hunting. I don't have a permit."

Fish with chainsaw under skating rink

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

Dancing with the Star Wars

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Spoiler alert."

Movies vs. Films

"Mail's here."

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Mog The Week

Eva Mendez

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

Frank and Ernie's Poetry Corner. Robert Frost. TV Guide. I think I'll watch some late-night comedy