Comedy Junkies Gifts

More New Cereals For Kids

Freaking Out at the Airport

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Stairlift around cliff face.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

The First Fire Stick

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

Divine Desk Bins

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"He says he's sure this isn't Wildwood. Did you put batteries in the GPS?"

Standard & Poor

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"Mail's here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Spoiler alert."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'