Stand-up Comedy Junkie Gifts

"Sorry kid, potty humor has a place, but not in this agency."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

They hated me.

Zombie standup

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Snowprov

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Stand-up Romcom

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'Let's go to a bar and do something funny.'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"Am I sensing fear?"

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"