Humor Junkie Gifts

'The only way I had to get your attention was to send you that computer virus.'

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

Wow, those instructions dad's reading sure do have a lot of cuss words in 'em!

"Mail's here."

"So then I, my family, my staff, and the criminal court system decided it was time for me to take a contemplative sabbatical from politics."

"We're all good here. . . thanks anyway."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

"Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hur..."

"Let's park on the other side, just to be on the safe side."

Alpaca Hijacker: O.K. boys...turn this plane around we're heading for cusco!

Nacho Pants

"You know what they say, Ladies. Big cheese sandwich, big p***s."

There's no such word as "can't".

Redneck Wet T-shirt Contest

'Hey, kid! Watch the secondhand bubbles!!'

"Excuse me, do you serve lawyers here?"

'Hey, you. Around here we eat with our mouth open.'

'Is this the first time he's got 180?'

Alamo. Remember the password.

US Mail

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

'They're showing 'Jaws' on TV tonight: The beaches should be quiet for a few days after that!'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Internet Cafe

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

I understand you've been feeling ignored lately – You just need to get out there and mingle.

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

"Remember me, Mister 'too much bacon is never enough?'"

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

Our Summer Without Dave