Satirical News Junkie Gifts

Political Journalism

"Don't touch it... you don't know who dropped it."

Trial by Media

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Trump pardons

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

"Who's got the hammer?"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Away with the warmonger!"

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

The economy.

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Difference of Opinion

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Studies show foods work miracles!

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'