Satirical News Fan Gifts

Fiscal cliff

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

'..Saddam Hussein's money stash could pay off the U.S. budget deficit.'

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

Jon Stewart

Supreme leader products for the people

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

Director/Action Man toy.

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

What's normal?

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

The Snarky District

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

On the brink.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

How am I abducting?

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."