Satirical Fan Gifts

"From now on, maybe we should let somebody ELSE'S conscience be our guide."

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Loose Cannon

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

A Mexican Wave.

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

Infographic depiction of how everything works.

"How come every time I'm in a good mood, everybody automatically suspects me of predatory capitalism?"

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

What's normal?

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.