Satirical Fan Gifts

"From now on, maybe we should let somebody ELSE'S conscience be our guide."

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

A Mexican Wave.

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

"How come every time I'm in a good mood, everybody automatically suspects me of predatory capitalism?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

Director/Action Man toy.

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

What's normal?

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

The Snarky District

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

On the brink.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

How am I abducting?