Satirical Story Fan Gifts

'The book isn't a self-help book, it's telling you that dogs aren't as important as humans.'

'I finally feel I've got job security.'

"To cut a long story short...run! Run for your life!!!"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Director/Action Man toy.

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Fabrique en Francais (Made in France).

What's normal?

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

How am I abducting?

On the brink.

The Snarky District

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

Parade of Businessmen

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'